GBREY'S BADASSS BLOG

One brothas view of the world's news, sports and culture. Stay informed, stay involved, stay badasss!!!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

2009 in review (already)...

It feels like I can write a "2009 in review" post at the end of September because this year, unlike any other that I can remember, has already felt like 10 years rolled into one. This year has been "course altering," for me, for my friends and family without exception, and for the world in ways that we never imagined. I lost my last grandparent this year, the one I knew the best and the one that knew me most. I didn't see my Grandma alive in 2009, and it made me feel a kind of lonely this year that I hadn't felt before.
Out there in the rest of the world we inaugurated America's first Black President, then questioned whether he was really American, going from figurative questioning during the campaign to the questions now being quite literal, and nutty. Iran went crazyover a shady election (like maybe we should have in 2000) and we stayed connected to the story by, of all things, Twitter. Afghanistan has applied for Iraq's former "quagmire" status, pirates and vampires made big comebacks and oh yeah, most of the world's economies teetered(and are teetering) on the brink.
Of course now the health care debate is in full swing with a little bit of everything, liberal and conservative threats and counter-threats, "Harry and Louise" ads for reform and of course, the infamus "town halls;" with opponents of reform (and their insurance company lobbyist sponsors) disrupting meetings, bringing guns and calling Obama a SocialistNaziForeignerFacist who's warming up the gas ovens for grandma(and eventually, all white people). This health care debate has had everything except it's loudest, truest most tireless voice of support, the "Lion of the Senate," Ted Kennedy.
Ted Kennedy's was one of the latest of a string of death that has hit home particularly hard in 2009. When I was growing up I didn't get to stay up to watch the Tonight Show very often and when I was old enough I was watching Arsenio, but Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon were still a piece of my childhood that was chipped away from me forever when Ed McMahon passed away this summer. A much bigger chunk though, was chopped off a few days later in June.
I never felt something so much stronger then I'd imagined I'd feel it then the day that Michael Jackson died. Memories came flooding in; riding to Philly from NYC to see the Jackson's "Victory" tour, loving to go over to my mom's boyfriend's place because he had cable and I could see the "Billie Jean" and "Beat ItBeat It" videos on BET and MTV (plus, he had the Thriller video on Beta!). We saw Magic Johnson, soon after he announced having HIV(which we "knew" meant a sure, swift death) in MJ's "Remember the Time" video, and of course there was "Motown 25".
Remembering how amazing that "Moonwalk moment" was to an 8 year old kid, and the joy it brought, was quickly replaced with the realization that the man who did those amazing things is gone; "Motown 25" was 25 years ago, and that show is as much a relic today as the music and culture that the show celebrated was then (Moonwalk excluded) . Michael Jackson's life was a succession of cultural milestones, moments that made you say, "remember when?", and connect with a certain moment in time. Ted Kennedy was part of many culturally significant moments as well. But most of them; Camelot, the assasinations of his brothers, Chappaquiddick, came before I was born. The significant moments that Ted Kennedy was a part of during my lifetime were in the political arena and changed my life's path, and America's path in ways that can't be measured.
His work to lower the voting age to 18allowed for my first Presidential vote to be for Bill Clinton, instead of for Ralph Nader in 2000, allowing me to escape the guilt it would have brought me to be part of the 2000 debacle with my first vote. He pushed for two reauthorizations of the Civil Rights Act, a small reminder that America understood that her work towards equality was not yet near completion. Kennedy's work to increase access and funding for college, and his support of affirmative action made my journey to and through college easier, if not possible. Ted Kennedy's adherence to liberal values even when they fell out of fashion taught me to not hold my tongue when I thought that a war was wrong, even if it seemed like everyone around me did not.
Because these accomplishments ran right alongside of my life, Ted Kennedy was the "real" Kennedy to me. JFK and RFK were these great big myths with Airports and stadiums named after them, whose deaths are even buried in mythology. Ted Kennedy was a symbol as well, ask anyone that's received GOP campaign literature in the last 30 years, but he was a living, breathing, working symbol, who left his greatest work for us to finish.
My grandmother passed away a few short days before inauguration day as this year was just getting underway. I never doubted how deeply she loved me, and growing up I adored my grandma, but we never formed a complete "bond"; there was a piece of her that wouldn't open enough to complete the bond. As I grew, there were more and more pieces of me that I held back too, not just from her but from everyone, so more and more of the bond that we did have frayed as time went on. Her shell hardened to the point that during my last visits our conversations may not have crossed the 100 word mark. I remember being at her home, watching her watch TV for hours on end, not even really connecting with what she was watching and it would make me wonder; "Why isn't she LIVING," really finding a way to connect with the world, why is she so disengaged? That wonder would simmer into anger, anger that came from fear of being so unhappy and adrift myself one day (if I wasn't already).
I learned, as we were cleaning out my grandmother's home, that it wasn't always like that for Mozelle Greene. We saw pictures of her out on the town, having a good time, and my mom told me about the light that my grandmother had when my mom was growing up, how she loved to host (a skill that I luckily got to enjoy firsthand, many times) and get together with the "Social Club" that she had with friends and extended family. That light was dulled irrevocably when her brother, Lewis was murdered.
Lewis was a flamboyent, larger than life radio personality that went by "Wilbur D on WANT". He was found murdered and his house was set on fire to cover up what happened. The case was never solved, which only adds to the pain that the murder caused.
That act of violence didn't just take "Wilbur D" away that night, it began to slowly take my grandma away, take away the full relationships that could have been, between a mother and daughter, a grandmother and grandson, between a woman and the world around her. How pathetic would all that loss have been if it was caused, even partly, because someone could not accept Lewis's homosexuality? How wrong if that crime went unsolved, and therefore unpunished, because authorities didn't care about a victim that was gay?
So where does this leave me, losing all of these icons of my childhood this year? Learning about all of the adult pain that these icons absorbed on their journeys through life? I can try and share my God given talents as fully as Michael Jackson did, leave a mark with the talents that I express fully, honed with practice and work. I can contribute to my family, community and world the way that Ted Kennedy did; working to bring fairness where it's missing. I'm not a Senator, but I can damn sure call my Senators and demand that they honor the cause of Ted Kennedy's life and finally make sure that quality, affordable health care is a right and not a privilege anymore in the United States of America. I can give the love that my grandmother gave me growing up; and honor the love that she had for her brother by doing any and everything that I can to diffuse the hate that some people feel for people that are different, or live differently then they do.
That would be growing up and stepping up; leaving childhood behind and embracing the responsibilities of full borne Adulthood. Hopefully, when my journey through this life is over, if I can give my love, my gifts and my service to something more then myself, then maybe, besides saying I threw some good parties (which I do share with Grandma), people will blame me for taking a piece of their childhood with me out the door...

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